Eagles 38, TOFU 0

Could it really have gone any other way? Terrell Owens marches back into The Linc for the first time as a Cowboy, and marches out with his tail tucked between his legs. Here are some TOFU-related thoughts I had will soaking in the most satisfying regular-season win in recent memory.
------------------------------------------------------------------
First and foremost, I would be remiss if I didn't say...Ha Ha Ha!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Before the game, TOFU was huddled with his teammates and said something to the effect of, "it's not me against them, it's us against them." Nice sentiment, which only makes his post-game comment even more appropriate - at least for TOFU:

"You watched the game. Who's pulling the trigger? I'm just out there doing my job. I'm not trying to point fingers at anybody, but you guys know just as well as I know. We win as a team, we lose as a team."

Talk out of both sides of your mouth much? It's like he started to go TOFU, but Psrcells zapped him through a shock collar and he went to the "all about the team" comment. Hysterical. This guy is only about one team, and that's team TOFU.
------------------------------------------------------------------
For the record, this game wasn't about TOFU vs. Donovan McNabb, or TOFU vs. the Eagles, or even the Cowboys vs. the Eagles. It was basically TOFU vs. the city of Philadelphia, and you had to love Philly's odds in that mismatch.
------------------------------------------------------------------
During training camp, when TOFU wasn't riding the bike due to his "tweaked hamstring," he said he lifted weights in reps of 10 and 8, or 10/8, the date the Cowboys played in Philly? Well, now on October 10th, I have TOFU's new workour regimen, and it calls for reps of 7-4-3-2-0-0. 7 for the seven sacks of TOFU's new quarterback, Drew Bledsoe, 4 for the number of Cowboys turnovers in said game, 3 for the number of balls hauled in by TOFU, 2 for the number of balls dropped by TOFU, 0 for the number of touchdowns scored by TOFU, and 0 for the impact he had on this game.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's what the label on TOFU's latest refill of pain pills reads:

Clinic: Dallas OB/GYN
Patient: Owens, T.
Doctor: Jones, J.
Prescription: Yousuckitol, 500 mg
Dosage: Take as many pills as you can cram in your pie hole for pain caused by 14 point beat-down in Philadelphia; Increase dosage as necessary upon realization that Drew Blewsoe is your quarterback.
Side Effects: May include disappearing during big games against former team and dropped passes (in other words, you'll appear exactly as you did on Sunday).
Warnings: Feel free to mix with as many supplements as possible. No, seriously, take a few more.
In case of "Accidental Overdose:" Allow skeezer publicist to refrain from calling 911, let nature take its course.
Refill Date: December 26, 2006
Number of Refills: As many as required
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sure TOFU isn't really upset about losing the game. After all, he's got 25 million reasons to be happy, right Kim? Whatever keeps you from going back to your old job of swinging on the brass pole.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally, some TOFU Haiku for you...

How 'bout that, TOFU.
McNabb to Brown and Baskett.
Ha Ha Ha, You suck.