The Week 7 Picks

“Clutch.”

To some, it’s a car part. To the sports fan, it’s a word used to describe a play that occurs at a key time in the game, one that often changes momentum and has a direct impact on the final score. “Clutch” can also describe the player who makes such a play. On Saturday, October 15th, 2005, the term “clutch” was personified by a freshman kicker at the University of Massachusetts named Armando Cuko.

In Saturday’s game against James Madison (ranked fourth nationally in Division I-AA), Cuko kicked a 41 yard field goal with eight seconds to go lifting the Minutemen to a 10-7 win on homecoming weekend. Now, making that kick for a freshman is pressure enough. What makes Cuko’s kick so special is that the game was being played in a virtual monsoon, on a sloppy field where the mud was ankle deep in spots. Most kickers wouldn’t be able to get their footing, let alone drill the kick the way Cuko did.

Hell, even Kirk Gibson thinks Armando Cuko is clutch.

Speaking of clutch, this guy scored his best week of the season, posting 11-3 marks both straight up and against the spread. Now, I’m not saying I’m clutch like Armando Cuko (because quite frankly no one is), but I am superstitious. That said, this week’s picks will be brief in nature as last week’s were, in hopes of replicating the results.

But before I share the picks, big props to the boys who made last weekend’s road trip such a blast:

W “Laying on the Hood of the Trans Am” Jackson

The Archbishop Desmond “Dez” Jackson (Go home and go to sleep, I ain’t tryin’ to holla at you, I’m tryin’ to holla at some bitches)

My brother, Otis “I peed in the alley” Miller

And yours truly, Jake “Sideline boy at Tiki Bob’s” Miller

And to the Penn State fan from the hood, take your head out of the oven (at least long enough to read the picks). Acknowledgement is the first step.

If you have to ask, you’re probably better off not knowing…

The Match-up: Kansas City (+1.5) @ Miami
The Skinny: This game was moved to Friday due to the impending threat of Hurricane Wilma. The Dolphins may wish the game was cancelled altogether.
Straight up: Kansas City
Against the Spread: Kansas City

The Match-up: New Orleans (+3.0) @ St. Louis
The Skinny: The Saints expect to have Joe Horn back in the lineup, while the Rams will be without Marc Bulger for at least three weeks. I’m not saying Jamie Martin is Tommy Maddox, but he’s also not a guy I’d wager on.
Straight up: New Orleans
Against the Spread: New Orleans

The Match-up: Green Bay (-2.0) @ Minnesota
The Skinny: Rare is Brett Favre favored in a dome. How bad must the Vikings be?
Straight up: Green Bay
Against the Spread: Green Bay

The Match-up: San Diego (+4.0) @ Philadelphia
The Skinny: The Eagles could use a big win to silence their critics following their embarrassing loss in Dallas prior to the bye. A win over AFC power San Diego would suffice.
Straight up: Philadelphia
Against the Spread: Philadelphia

The Match-up: San Francisco (+12.5) @ Washington
The Skinny: The trade of Tim Rattay to Tampa ensures that the 49ers will go with Alex Smith for the remainder of the season. My condolences, Niners fans.
Straight up: Washington
Against the Spread: San Francisco

The Match-up: Pittsburgh (+1.0) @ Cincinnati
The Skinny: Only because I’m not sure how healthy Ben Roethlisberger is.
Straight up: Cincinnati
Against the Spread: Cincinnati

The Match-up: Indianapolis (-16.0) @ Houston
The Skinny: The league’s last undefeated team rolls into Houston, where their fast, aggressive defense should give the Texans’ O-line fits. Perhaps David Carr could save himself some punishment by simply laying down in the pocket.
Straight up: Indianapolis
Against the Spread: Houston

The Match-up: Detroit (+3.0) @ Cleveland
The Skinny: Since Steve Mariucci has yet to name his starting QB, this is a tough game to pick. My guess is Joey Harrington gets one more week (Translation – take the Browns).
Straight up: Cleveland
Against the Spread: Cleveland

The Match-up: Dallas (+3.0) @ Seattle
The Skinny: Dallas sucks.
Straight up: Seattle
Against the Spread: Seattle

The Match-up: Buffalo (+3.0) @ Oakland
The Skinny: The Raiders may be without Randy Moss, which may or may not be a good thing.
Straight up: Buffalo
Against the Spread: Buffalo

The Match-up: Denver (+2.0) @ New York Giants
The Skinny: Denver has won five straight and sits atop the AFC West. And yet, they’re a road dog against the Giants. Do the math.
Straight up: New York Giants
Against the Spread: New York Giants

The Match-up: Tennessee (+3.5) @ Arizona
The Skinny: If only Dennis Green would have gone with Josh McCown all season. He did this same crap last year (you undoubtedly remember the one and only start of the John Navarre era). Hey Denny, let the kid play!
Straight up: Arizona
Against the Spread: Arizona

The Match-up: Baltimore (+1.0) @ Chicago
The Skinny: Thomas Jones sure looked healthy last week for a guy who was listed as “Doubtful” when I picked them to lose to the Vikings. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on the Bears PR staff.
Straight up: Chicago
Against the Spread: Chicago

The Match-up: New York Jets (+7.0) @ Atlanta
The Skinny: Vinny Testaverde is merely keeping the seat warm for Philip Rivers, who may make his way to New York prior to Tuesday’s trade deadline.
Straight up: Atlanta
Against the Spread: Atlanta