The Week 14 Picks

Embarrassing…

Frustrating…

Pathetic…

Unfortunate…

I know what you’re thinking - the Eagles on Monday night against Seattle. Well, yes, but I was actually referring to my Fantasy Football team. Last year, I won the championship. This year, I’m in 10th place in a ten team league. I’ve just been snake-bitten this year, as you’ll see from the following summary:

Ø For starters, I drew 9th in the draft order. My strategy was going to be to take the best RB on the board at 9, then take Donovan McNabb at 12 (except that ‘5’ went 3rd overall, hence a monkey wrench was thrown into the system).

Ø I traded Domanick Davis for Tiki Barber, only to then package Barber in a deal for Rudi Johnson, who I then traded with Reggie Wayne for Curtis Martin, Donte' Stallworth, and Duce Staley. I recently dealt Martin for convicted felon Jamal Lewis.

Ø I acquired Ahman Green for Corey Dillon. Green played about a half of football for me before rupturing a thigh tendon and being shelved for the season.

Ø I picked up Eric Moulds from Buffalo, who was just suspended by the team after failing to catch a pass last week for the first time in 121 games.

Ø I decided against trading Byron Leftwich for Drew Brees a week before Leftwich broke his ankle.

Ø Had I not made any trades, I could have fielded a team last week of Jake Plummer (11.84 points), Ben Roethlisberger (21.64), Corey Dillon (14.40), Thomas Jones (9.30), Reggie Wayne (11.00), T.J. Houshmandzadeh (21.50), Lee Evans (29.70), Randy McMichael (4.10), John Kasay (6.00), and the Jacksonville defense (6.00) for a grand total of 135.48 points. Instead, my team featuring guys like Jeff Garcia, Curtis Martin, Moulds, and Stallworth netted me a whopping 59.88 points.

Anyway, now that I have totally given up on my Fantasy team for the year, I can focus on my NFL Picks league, which I’m still winning (barely). Here are the Week 14 picks.

The Match-up: New England (-3.5) @ Buffalo
The Skinny: The Patriots can clinch the AFC East with a win and a Miami loss, both of which should happen.
Straight up: New England
Against the Spread: New England

The Match-up: Chicago (+6.0) @ Pittsburgh
The Skinny: Both defenses are virtually impenetrable, especially to offenses guided by Kyle Orton and (potentially) Tommy Maddox. This has the feel of a 13-10 game, doesn’t it?
Straight up: Pittsburgh
Against the Spread: Chicago

The Match-up: Cleveland (+12.5) @ Cincinnati
The Skinny: Outspoken Cincinnati WR Chad Johnson said the Bengals could score 40 this week. You know what? I believe him.
Straight up: Cincinnati
Against the Spread: Cincinnati

The Match-up: Tampa Bay (+5.5) @ Carolina
The Skinny: The NFC South may be the best division in football, and its two top dogs face off this week in Charlotte. This could be the game of the week.
Straight up: Carolina
Against the Spread: Carolina

The Match-up: Indianapolis (-8.0) @ Jacksonville
The Skinny: The Colts have a few high hurdles to get over en route to 16-0, the first of which is in Jacksonville this week.
Straight up: Indianapolis
Against the Spread: Jacksonville

The Match-up: Houston (+7.0) @ Tennessee
The Skinny: After another come-from-ahead loss last week, it’s only a matter of time until the Texans break through and actually finish a game.
Straight up: Houston
Against the Spread: Houston

The Match-up: St. Louis (+7.0) @ Minnesota
The Skinny: The resurgent Vikings could close to within a game of division-leading Chicago with a win over the Rams and a Bears loss in Pittsburgh.
Straight up: Minnesota
Against the Spread: Minnesota

The Match-up: Oakland (-3.0) @ New York Jets
The Skinny: LaMont Jordan returns to the Meadowlands, and will have to be the focal point of Oakland’s offense (with Kerry Collins benched in favor of Marques Tuiasosopo).
Straight up: Oakland
Against the Spread: Oakland

The Match-up: San Francisco (+16.0) @ Seattle
The Skinny: Shaun Alexander for NFL MVP? He’s as good a choice as anybody.
Straight up: Seattle
Against the Spread: Seattle

The Match-up: New York Giants (-9.0) @ Philadelphia
The Skinny: When is a QB Controversy not a QB Controversy? When the options are Mike McMahon and Koy Detmer.
Straight up: Philadelphia
Against the Spread: Philadelphia

The Match-up: Washington (-4.0) @ Arizona
The Skinny: The Redskins got back on the winning track last week in St. Louis. Another road test awaits Washington this week in Arizona.
Straight up: Washington
Against the Spread: Washington

The Match-up: Miami (+13.5) @ San Diego
The Skinny: The Chargers are legit, and may be the second best team in the AFC (sorry, Bengals fans).
Straight up: San Diego
Against the Spread: Miami

The Match-up: Kansas City (+3.0) @ Dallas
The Skinny: Let me think about it…I’ll take K.C.
Straight up: Kansas City
Against the Spread: Kansas City

The Match-up: Baltimore (+14.0) @ Denver
The Skinny: After another loss in their house of horrors, Arrowhead Stadium, the Broncos return to the friendly confines of Mile High to take on the depleted Ravens.
Straight up: Denver
Against the Spread: Denver

The Match-up: Detroit (+6.0) @ Green Bay
The Skinny: It’s an epic running back battle between Artose Pinner and Samkon Gado. Save the uniforms in case Canton comes calling some day.
Straight up: Green Bay
Against the Spread: Green Bay

The Match-up: New Orleans (+10.5) @ Atlanta
The Skinny: I just traded for Aaron Brooks and Joe Horn, so look for three picks from Brooks, a season-ending injury to Horn, and a big Falcons victory.
Straight up: Atlanta
Against the Spread: Atlanta